Seeking Feedback: Strengths

Episode Transcript

The Seeking Feedback Strengths card states, “Addressing gaps is vital, but it’s hard to grow solely by studying weaknesses. Positive feedback can illuminate strengths you didn’t know you had.” And the card invites you to practice the double down, which you can do by asking questions like, “What is one thing I did well in this situation?” and, “What do you consider my strongest qualities?”

Let’s go a bit deeper here. As I shared in an article I wrote for Harvard Business Review, I honestly didn’t know my strengths even after years of writing classes, until a professor finally called them out. And how was I supposed to know? Every paper I received back was covered in red pen. Notes on what to improve, what to fix, what to cut. The gaps got all the attention. The strengths, while they may have been visible to my professors, were completely invisible to me. For many months, I just felt stuck, like I wasn’t improving, wasn’t cut out to be a writer, maybe should even change my major, and clearly didn’t have a future in putting words together.

That experience points to something this card wants you to take seriously. Positive feedback is perhaps even more important than negative feedback. There are two reasons. First, it allows you to double down on strengths, and doubling down on what you’re naturally good at often produces more growth than grinding away at weaknesses. Second, it builds morale and motivation, and that motivation gets transformed into the energy for continuous improvement, creating a genuinely positive feedback loop. You learn what’s working, you feel encouraged, you invest more, you improve more, and that cycle can just keep happening.

But there’s a catch. Positive feedback only does this work when it’s specific. “Great job” can be helpful. Knowing exactly why it was great is a million times better. Compare “awesome work,” maybe even “awesome work on our project last week,” to something like this: “Awesome work on our project last week. You showed an incredible ability to pull cross-functional teams together, keep everyone not only organized but even inspired, and the result was that we delivered ahead of time for our client. Under your leadership, I’m already excited to see what we can do next.”

That second version might change someone’s entire career. They may not have felt they did a great job at all. They may have known they kept people organized, but had no idea they kept them inspired. And it might be the first time anyone has ever used the word leadership about them. Specific positive feedback invites people into an opportunity to see a fuller picture of themselves, and ultimately, that’s one of the main points of feedback literacy. And since negativity bias impacts most of us, that fuller picture, again, not a rosy or fake picture, a fuller and more true picture, can be especially powerful for growth.

That’s card 09 of the Seeking Feedback suit. Ask someone this week what they consider your strongest qualities. You may hear something you’ve never heard before or get validation that something you thought was strong actually is. Either way, you’re now in a better position to grow.