Using Feedback: Signal

Episode Transcript

The Using Feedback Signal card states, “Changing your behavior may go unnoticed. If you want particular people to be aware of your efforts to change, ask them directly.” And the card invites you to use what’s called the flag, which you can do by asking the feedback giver something like, “I’m working on X based on your feedback. Can you tell me if and when you notice a difference?”

Let’s get to the next level in this card. So part of being an exceptional user of great feedback is that when possible, you circle back to the person who gave it to you. And this isn’t about appeasing them or getting on their good side. It goes far deeper than that. The person who gave you feedback worth adopting may also be great at telling you what they’ve observed since, how the change is actually landing. But here’s the reality: givers, like everyone else, can get busy, and many of them haven’t developed the skill of following up with the people they gave feedback to, checking in, seeing how it’s going. That’s a skill we cover in the giving feedback suit.

So rather than waiting and hoping they notice, be proactive. You can go get feedback on how your feedback adoption is going. That’s what the flag does. It plants a marker. It lets them know exactly what you’re working on and invites them to watch for it.

And this card points to something even bigger in your growth journey. Once you’ve adopted feedback and you think it’s going well, maybe it has even become your new habit, you’re not limited to the person who originally gave it to you. You can also ask others you admire, people with a front-row seat to the behavior you’re changing. In my past days as a mixed martial artist, there were times when I learned a new move from one gym, and then weeks later, training at a different gym, sometimes in a different state, sometimes in a different part of the world, I’d get feedback from other folks on what they saw. Getting feedback from multiple angles like that allowed me to keep making improvements, even small refinements, and it gave me new perspectives, and ultimately, it led to me being able to decide what worked best for me.

So that’s card 02 of the Using Feedback suit. The next time you’re actively working on a change, try planting the flag with the original giver, maybe with a few others who can see you in action. This can help ensure those people around you become actual collaborators in your growth rather than just observers of it.