Processing Feedback: Patterns

Episode Transcript

The Processing Feedback Patterns card states, “A single data point is a snapshot. Several can point to an important pattern. Search for a recurring theme before changing your behavior.” And the card invites you to apply the scientific method, which you can do by placing feedback in context. Does it fit a pattern, or is it a new discovery? If new, treat it as a hypothesis to test rather than a fact.

So let me tell you a story about how a single data point revealed a pattern I had been hiding from myself. Something in it may resonate, or if not, it can help show you how deep the content of this card can be. So during my time as an investigative journalist covering human rights issues, I was loaded with self-doubt. I didn’t have formal training in that specific niche. I just knew I could research, I could write, and I cared deeply about my topic. But after receiving a particular grant, everywhere I turned seemed to be filled with seasoned journalists who did have the formal training I lacked. They had connections I lacked, the experience I lacked, often the backing of major media companies, which I definitely lacked.

I felt very much like an underdog, unsure if I could do this. And perhaps worse, I was terrified of causing harm to the people whose stories I was telling, people who often literally told me they were relying on me because nobody else would tell their stories. The pressure was immense.

Then, during one meeting with a journalist I really admired, she told me how special my work was. And she didn’t stop at special. She gave really detailed positive feedback about why, and she told me she believed I had the talent, the work ethic, and the courage to tell a particularly challenging story. Her feedback was, yes, a single data point, but it opened up my entire world.

So here’s where it connects to this card. Weeks later, as I let her words marinate, I realized that throughout the years, others had offered similar feedback, like repeatedly. And I hadn’t really let any of it in. I had ignored it, mostly because I believed that if I let it in, I would lose my humility. And that, truthfully, was a flaw in my thinking. Letting that positive feedback in was actually vitally important. And it took this one vivid data point to crack me open enough to finally see the others, which together formed a pattern I had never allowed myself to recognize.

So this card’s guidance runs in a few directions at once. Generally, search for the recurring theme before changing your behavior. A single comment is a snapshot. Several snapshots can reveal what’s actually there. When something arrives that’s genuinely new, treat it as a hypothesis to test rather than a fact to swallow. But also, and this is the part my story taught me, sometimes the pattern already exists, fully formed, and you have to determine if maybe something about your mindset has been or still is the barrier to your ability to see it.

That’s card 05 of the Processing Feedback suit. Spend a moment writing about the feedback themes that may have repeated across your life, including, maybe especially, the positive ones. Is there a pattern? If so, know that letting it in doesn’t mean you will lose your humility, and actually not letting it in could be what’s holding you back.