“Choosing joy is actually harder than choosing grit because it requires us to dismantle the complex responsibilities we’ve built around our egos.”
Episode Transcript
Hi there, my name is Cameron Conaway. Welcome to 3-Minute Reframe. Today we’re talking about choosing joy.
On October 19, 2025, I sat in a hospital room holding my stillborn daughter, Audrey Jo. While her mother was in emergency surgery, I played the music of Native American flutist R. Carlos Nakai. In that devastating period of time, I looked at Audrey’s little button nose and felt a clarity I can only describe as wisdom being transmitted from her.
I realized I had been living a life of “grit without joy.” I was in a PhD program I didn’t love, chasing a credential for a tick-the-box “stability” that may never happen… all the while my creative spirit withered. I had worked hard to get into that PhD program, and that effort was what compelled me to keep putting forth more and more effort.
You may find yourself in a similar situation, unable to let go of something almost solely because you’ve been tending to it for so long and you don’t want all of that tending to go to waste. I’m here to say: if that’s the only reason you’re holding on, it might be time either to find another reason or to loosen your grip.
As one day went by, then another, Audrey’s wisdom sang louder and louder within me. I had to drop out—not because it was hard (I tend to love hard things) but because it wasn’t bringing joy and was actually giving me no time for things that did.
Choosing joy is actually harder than choosing grit, because it requires us to dismantle the complex responsibilities we’ve built around our egos. Martha Beck, in her book The Way of Integrity, speaks about this journey of simplification and returning to the self—a topic she recently explored on the Tim Ferriss podcast I link to in the show notes.
So, the reframe: Joy may not be a reward for hard work; it might be the fuel for it.
To put this into practice, I want you to calculate your Joy Yield.
In our professional lives, we are taught to obsess over our “productivity yield,” but if your hard work results in high output and zero joy, you might actually be operating at a loss. You are spending the currency of your life and getting no nourishment in return.
Here is your practice: At the start of each day, commit to a task with a high Joy Yield—perhaps the flow of writing or the gratitude of a collaboration. At the end of the day, hold yourself accountable by writing or thinking: “Today, my Joy Yield was found in…” This isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff; it’s about ensuring the hard stuff feeds your soul.
That’s a wrap. Catch you next week.
Show Notes
- Learn More: Joy Yield
- Tim Ferriss #837: Martha Beck on Joy
- Book: The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck
- Music: R. Carlos Nakai
Don't Just Keep Up.
Define the New Rules.
3-Minute Reframe isn't just another newsletter. It’s where new language for modern leadership is forged. Explore some of the frameworks shaping the future of personal and professional growth.