“Like the lotus, we don’t always need to enter back into our difficult experiences with ‘open petals.’ We need to be in a psychologically safe environment—internally and externally—to process them.”
Episode Transcript
Hi there, my name is Cameron Conaway. Welcome to 3-Minute Reframe.
In my office at Penn State, I have a Zen calligraphy painting by the late Thich Nhat Hanh. It reads simply: No Mud, No Lotus.
We often admire the lotus flower for its picture-perfect blooming. But that beauty is entirely dependent on the mud. The lotus arises from the muck, at once keeping its petals closed to protect itself, while simultaneously absorbing the nutrients that only the mud can offer.
I had the privilege of going on a retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh in Thailand back in 2013. Being in his presence taught me that the blooming is a metaphor for gaining wisdom from the hardest experiences of our lives. My most painful experiences have been my greatest teachers.
However, the reframe here is about safety. Like the lotus, we don’t always need to enter back into our difficult experiences with “open petals.” We need to be in a psychologically safe environment—internally and externally—to process them. Once those resources are in place, it becomes possible to extract lessons from the darkness.
As the poet Mary Oliver famously wrote, “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.”
I wrote an article for Lion’s Roar magazine about my experience on that retreat and the lessons learned. You can find the link in the show notes.
And today’s invitation: Find an area in your life where you believe the mud defined you negatively. While that may be true, what if you were to reframe this experience as: Here is how I positively shaped myself as a result of being in the mud? Give it a shot and let me know if you find a new growth angle to an old story. Catch you next week.
Show Notes
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Define the New Rules.
3-Minute Reframe isn't just another newsletter. It’s where new language for modern leadership is forged. Explore some of the frameworks shaping the future of personal and professional growth.